what's in my head hurts

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  • too painful to face past

    when horrible things happen, you go into primative mode, your mind has to decide to 'fight or flight'. with someone in a controlling situation, there is no escape from the situation, nor can you oppose it, so you survive. you process the traumatic events in a primative way, so the trauma is never filed in a safe way. The trauma is left in your head. You havent confined it to a history file. the pain is unresolved and you feel the sensations of trauma, raw

  • i cant believe that i did this

    bad things that happen to you as a child are things that you experience 100%, but they are not what you would choose to do now, nor at the time what you would have said to a friend or sibling it's ok to happen to them if they told you about it. 

  • if i accept it happened, i feel it was my fault, makes me sick
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  • i get confused about time lines

    when horrible things happen, you go into primative mode, your mind has to decide to 'fight or flight'. with someone in a controlling situation, there is no escape from the situation, nor can you oppose it, so you survive. you process the traumatic events in a primative way, so the trauma is never filed in a safe way. The trauma is left in your head. You havent confined it to a history file. the pain is unresolved and you feel the sensations of trauma, raw.

  • how can i face the past?

    It can be very painful to face the past. Opening up unhealed wounds can make you feel that you are living the pain, as intensely.


    remember that:

    it wasn't your fault

    others had duty to love you, not hurt you

    what would you say to someone else?

    you can get professional help

    it's not your secret to keep any more

    you have already lived through the pain, even though that might be through blanking it


  • isnt it easier to blank it to avoid the pain?

    it might be. if you're surviving well now, and not suffering feelings of pain, then you might not be in post-traumatic stress, you might be a survivor. it's good to survive and fluorish.


    but if you do experience painful memories, if you have feelings that live with you and you dont know what to do with them, then it's unlikely that they will go away on their own. How to face the past will be personal to you, but you can get help to find the path that you need. 


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  • what does hope look like

    you can get professional support


    you can learn and believe that it wasnt your fault


    you can learn 'grounding' techniques, for you as you are now to help younger you


    you can put the past in the past, and learn how to manage the pain


    you can find you